Ashes in the Light

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little… in between.

Not quite here, not quite there — just somewhere in the middle of things I thought might happen, and things that didn’t.

Recently, I came close to getting a new HR role. It was something I had been quietly hoping for — a step in a direction I’ve been thinking about for a while. But in the end, it didn’t work out. They needed someone with more experience.

I understood it.
But that didn’t make it feel any less disappointing.

There was a moment where I felt a little defeated — like I had almost reached something, only to realise I wasn’t quite there yet.

At the same time, work hasn’t been the easiest lately either. There have been more hiccups than usual, small things adding up, and days that feel heavier than they should.

It’s not one big thing.
Just… a lot of little things.

And somehow, that makes it harder to shake off.

I think this is one of those phases people don’t really talk about —
the part where nothing is terribly wrong, but everything feels slightly off.

Where you’re still moving, still showing up, still doing what you need to do…
but inside, you feel a little deflated.

I’ve been trying not to rush out of this feeling.

Not to immediately “fix” it or force myself to feel positive.

Because maybe this is just part of the process too —
realising where I am, understanding what I still need, and slowly figuring out what comes next.

Maybe I’m not as behind as I feel.
Maybe I’m just… not there yet.

And for now, I think I’m learning to sit with that.