Ashes in the Light

People often see the pretty parts of weddings – the florals, the lights, the final reveal. What they don’t always see is everything that happens quietly behind the scenes.

Beyond wedding decorations, I sometimes help my boss with wedding planning and actual day coordination, drawing from my past experience in hotel events. Most of the time, it’s rewarding work — meaningful, even. But every now and then, you encounter a couple that reminds you that not everything about weddings is sweet.

There’s one couple I’m handling right now who have been particularly challenging — not just difficult, but with very fixed ways of working that have made even simple things more complicated.

Communication has been one of the biggest struggles. Everything is done over WhatsApp. No shared folders, no proper documentation, no willingness to use tools like Google Drive – which, in this line of work, isn’t just a preference, it’s essential. Things get lost, messages pile up, instructions blur, and yet expectations remain high.

What made it harder was being asked to handle tasks that weren’t part of our scope – things we had clearly explained weren’t our responsibility, such as managing certain WithJoy-related items. Despite that, we were still being directed to do the work, as though boundaries didn’t exist.

It’s moments like these that test your patience — and your professionalism. You learn very quickly that being helpful doesn’t mean being everything to everyone, and that good planning only works when there’s mutual respect and cooperation.

I remind myself that this, too, is part of the job.
Not every couple will be easy.
Not every process will be smooth.
And not every effort will be acknowledged.

Still, I show up. I stay calm. I do the work properly — because at the end of the day, the wedding is bigger than the frustration.

And maybe this is the quiet lesson in all of it:
that boundaries matter, clarity matters, and kindness should always go both ways.